Living life uncomfortably might be the best way to live – ever.

I was cleaning out my computer files this morning and discovered this gem, tucked into a folder called “Possible Blogs”. I couldn’t believe I had written this and hadn’t post it – what was holding me back from completing it?

I’ve re-read it several times this morning and am awe-struck at how long ago I wrote this (August 31, 2015) because I seriously could have written this today about my life. 

Here it is – my original, unpublished blog post from August 2015 about living life uncomfortably…

In my About Me I may have mentioned that I am a walking contradiction – well this blog post will give you insight into what I mean.

Let’s start here: I love routine when & where possible. I know what to expect, decision-making is simplified and not having to think too much about my daily activities allows me to focus on bigger ‘things’. Doing the same thing day in and day out is comfortable because routine makes life easier. It’s simple. 

But, for me, a routine is designated for the basics: what time to wake, what to eat for breakfast & lunch, which lanes to be in on the highway going to & from work, and the colour of lipstick I wear. These things are a constant in my life. But that’s where routine takes a backseat to my endless need for “what’s next…?”

I left a job I LOVE in June because I knew I needed a change. What I experienced in the last three months has been nothing short of a wild ride of awesome with a cherry on top. I am a different person. Good different. 

What I have learned in the last three months:

1. Going after your dreams can take more courage than following the status quo.  I left the exciting, always crazy, never boring world of Advertising for a new career client-side. Start tomorrow and although excited, sad to leave my pool.
2. Do what you love. My kids remind me of this every day. They rock.
3. Stress less. Not worth it. And it’s not as much fun as I thought it was. 
4. Travel as often as possible. Adventure & experiences are worth more than any object.
5. Smile often. Try it, you’ll like it.

Venturing outside of my routine – with the exception of my awesome lipstick of course! – has brought me closer to my teens, my husband of almost 18 years, friends, and most importantly, it has taught me that it’s important to be a priority in my own life. It’s ok to say no, to smile while saying no, and then go for a manicure. With no regrets. 

I still love routine, but I no longer use it as a means to get through my day, rather as an opportunity to truly be who I was meant to be. And who is that? A little whiskey in a teacup… that’s who!

It has been almost five years since I wrote these words. Five years. So much has happened and yet nothing has really changed.

Followed my dreams

Yes, I followed my dreams and now I work for myself doing what I love. That has made a significant difference in my life. I am in the drivers’ seat, making decisions, planning my workload and driving my success.

On days where my depression clouds my every move, I can stay in bed a little longer and not feel guilty. I can be anxious over the small stuff without panicking about what others will think if they see me sweaty in the midst of a panic attack. I can be me without worry.

And to be truthful, I am a kick-ass boss and I absolutely love working for me. 🙂

Bye-bye stress

Stress doesn’t live here as often as it used to. And it looks different. I stress less about the things outside of my control. I don’t allow others’ stress to negatively impact me – partially because I’m never around people and partly because I don’t give a fuck. Yup, I said that I don’t give a fuck.

There is nothing more important as my health and the health of my family and since we’re all good, no stress.

Travel & adventure is good for the soul

Travel and just getting out and about is good for the soul. I have learned that even the smallest things can turn into big adventures – keep your eyes and mind opened, for there is always an adventure waiting for you!

Smile more

I’m still working on smiling more, simply because my mouth naturally turns down – my family loves to joke about it. There are nights when I actually sit on the couch and smile purposefully. I look like a fool, but I don’t care. It feels good. And yes, the fam has a good laugh over it and there are many ridiculous photos of me passed around in the family group chat. 

Still living life uncomfortably…

After five years I still I treat routine with respect and enjoy having it keep me focused and structured when I need to be. And in those moments when I am able to live outside that comfort zone, I feel like anything is possible. It’s scary in a good way because I feel free. Free to be unapologetic, uniquely me.

I guess what I’m saying is that living life uncomfortably is still the way I live. A little routine with a side order of “what’s next…?” is who I am. 

A walking contradiction… maybe. 

A little sunshine mixed with a hurricane. Absolutely!