Motivation Monday. Where did you go?

I’m lost. Lost, demotivated and sad. And I’m not sure the order in which I feel these. Is my sadness impacting my motivation? My lack of motivation making me sad? Does it really matter? What natters is that it’s gone and I don’t know where it went or how to get it back.

I have no motivation to do anything. Read, write, be smart, learn, exercise, walk Phin, eat healthy … I just want to sleep. Drink wine. Sleep. All of my happy places are dark. Kinda like this post. I don’t like this place. But it’s me and it’s where I am.

Writing usually helps me sort through the darkness. But today nothing is helping. None of my usual “tricks”.

So in my desperation to find a way to motivate myself, I actually Googled ‘lost motivation’ this afternoon. Not only did the search results NOT provide anything of use, but it gave me these super unhelpful tips:

Use a Mantra. Seriously, how is a mantra going to help me? I can’t be fooled – I can tell myself a million positive affirmations a day but I know better. I am smarter than myself.

Don’t feed the beast. Clearly the person who wrote this doesn’t have depression and/or anxiety. I don’t even know what else to say about this. Seriously.

Create A Mental Barrier Protecting You From Depression​. OOOHHHHH! That’s all I need to do. Well if I could create a mental barrier from my depression I would be written up in medical journals as the person who cured depression.

Who makes this shit up? Clearly someone who has never been plagued with the level of suffering that kills a person’s motivation, drive, passion… Clearly someone who can’t control the chaos that drives them to worry about their stress and anxiety being out of control. And if this person actually does suffer, then shame on them for publishing something so benign that it allows non-suffers to think that all we need is a mantra or create a barrier. Someone pour me a drink.

I went to Google to find help. My stupidity. But maybe I should be looking at the results as comedy relief? Not sure.

But I need to make a change if I want to find my motivation.

Anyone have any suggestions? Need help.

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