Whined to Nunzio this morning about the crap I ate at the movies last night – I was beating myself up for doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t. Felt sick to my stomach. And he reminded me of what I wrote just yesterday – I know what I’m doing wrong, but then he suggested that i write down the issues I’m having so it’s harder to walk away from my goals.

Smart guy. Or maybe I’m the smart one for marrying him? Hm.

So I laced up, and took Phineas for a 4k run to sort through all of the things I have been doing that have taken me off track. There were more than I was owning up to. So here are the 5 things I’ve been sucking at lately:

5 Things I’ve Been Sucking At:

1. I’ve been exercising less than I thought I was. I knew I was running less but when I actually looked at my Garmin Connect I realized that I have only been running 2 days a week and walking maybe once a week. This is far less that I had been doing. Hoping my 30 Day 100KM Run Challenge will help me on this one.
2. I need to track EVERYTHING. I thought I was tracking 100% during the week and slacking off on the weekend. But Nunzio pointed out that on Tuesdays – homemade pizza night – I’m not tracking ingredients, but using a persisted smart point measurement that may or may not be accurate to what I was actually putting in my mouth. And he pointed out that I always eat one of Monkey’s crusts but never track it. So here I was thinking I was being 100% honest with my tracking but in reality I wasn’t. This combined with not really tracking on weekends has been a big culprit for my lack of weight loss. This I can change and need to change – and if I’m being really honest, this is how bad habits become everyday living.
3. I need to be more social. Me, more social?? Wha??? I found that when I was using Weight Watcher‘s Connect app more often I was incredibly more motivated – the stories, realities and support from the people using Connect help in the process a ton. Clearly I need to spend more time using social media.
4. I need to give back. This ties to #3. When I wasn’t working I spent a lot more time doing something I really love doing – being a cheerleader to others. I have recognized that I am good at this and it gives me great happiness and motivation to keep moving forward with my goals. I want and need to be more intentional with this as it makes my soul smile.
5. Writing truly is my therapy. When I write, I learn more about myself. Why I feel certain ways, how situations drive my anxiety and depression, what truly makes me happy… I simply need to write more. And I need to remember that I’m not writing for some fancy publication – my grammar, spelling and general ability does not need to be perfect – this has been a bit of a stumbling block for me. This is my safe place and if people want to judge then they can stop reading. I will make mistakes. And that is ok. Besides, my spelling sucks. I know it. I own it.

Amazing – I literally just let out a sigh of relief after that last period. Feels good to be in the moment and aware of the reasons I am successful or not. And even better to write it down.

Now off to track the 4k Pain and I just logged toward my 100KM challenges… makes me feel accomplished. Small, turtle steps. Cause I’m a turtle.

Happy Saturday.